Comic Archive

Adil: From what I've understood, you are going to coordinate this whole show?
OIB-A271: Sort of, although Heidi will be able to control certain aspects from the inside as well.
Adil: May I ask a favor?

OIB-A271: Sure, as long as it does not involve any of your dubious marketing stuff. What is it?
Adil: When I give the sign, can you say: “release the cafestol” out loud?
OIB-A271: Erm, yes, but what is that supposed to achieve?

Adil shows some strange contraption with a small tube sticking out from it.
Adil: This device will react to it, and inject a dose of cafestol in my mouth.
OIB-A271: Another AlienXpress gizmo? I hope it won't explode.
Adil: I have already tried it, you wiseacre.
OIB-A271: Well, then at least the risk of it exploding must be less than 100%…

Everyone is wearing the “thought projection” helmets and is sitting in comfy reclining chairs.
Heidi: OK, we shouldn't be gone for more than a few hours in total. If something would go awry, OIB-A271 can terminate the simulation at any time.
OIB-A271: Aye, captain!

Heidi: Everyone is ready for this?
Steve: I am not sure, but let's go for it anyway.
Max: As ready as I'll ever be.
Zhang: Let's hit it!

SFX: WHOOOSHH

We see the team “materializing” inside the simulation, on a street.
SFX: Whooshhhh…

Alana: So… this is supposed to be the future?
Steve: Heidi, you said we do not really know when we are, but do we know where we are supposed to be now?
Heidi: We should be near the same spot as we are… were… in the present. Or should I say: past?

Alana: We are obviously in a street, but I do not recognize it, nor any of those shops… and what kind of strange signs are those… “Excrement investments,” “POOP self-defense?” Seriously?
Steve: What the heck is going on here? Are those brand names?

OIB-A271's voice: I can confirm all system parameters are nominal, Heidi.
Heidi: Thanks, OIB-A271. Well, weird as it may seem, this future prediction must be accurate.
Steve: Then the future must be suffering from a severe case of anal fixation, given how many of those brands refer to bodily excretes!

Max: How about we ask someone… Hi there, do all companies here have such funny names? Why is that?
Person on the street: Huh… are you one of them dumbtards? Everyone knows the worst brand names have the best products! Sheesh!

Max: You don't have, like, a McDanold's near here?
Person: What? That is old garbage, dude! Nobody eats that stuff anymore. You are weird. Now excuse me, I'm gonna get me some delicious Crapfilth! Need food for the Vomitronic.