The Turbo SkullCrusher ! Had a bad exam? Find that the prof goes too far examining the rotor of an ink-blot floating on a river? Just grab this piece of hi-tech machinery and go ahead, make your day!

Together with the Turbo-bat, this apparatus belongs to a new series of environmentally friendly products which only require muscular force to operate. The system is very simple, but effective:

  1. Tighten the sledgehammer, this is very easy thanks to the Handy Handle® mechanism which allows you to do this in less than a second.
  2. Aim: go stand at a maximum distance of 30 cm. of your target and hold the machine at the appropriate height.
  3. Push both buttons in the handgrips. The ultra-powerful chromium steel spring will cause the hammer to be launched with an angular velocity of ±1080°/sec. The reaction force caused by this rapid rotation is mostly compensated for by the weight of the instrument's body and its construction. The collision of the hammer with your target will nevertheless cause a slight upward rotation of the machine's front, but this poses no problem.
  4. Enjoy the eyeballs and brain bits flying around.

The Turbo SkullCrusher in action!


  • Entirely hand-driven, so no polluting or noisy engines, good for stealth operations
  • Sledge hammer with steel head and aluminium stick
  • Body in cast iron with comfortable rubber hand grips
  • Stainless chromium steel spring
  • Handy Handle® mechanism allows you to tighten the sledgehammer quickly and easily
  • Safe: you need to push the buttons in both hand grips to launch the hammer.
  • When used correctly, victim's eyeballs will fly at least 10 meters far.
  • Not usable as bread or salami slicer, but ideal for demolition purposes of all kinds.

In the old days you could interactively view the SkullCrusher from 360° by means of a QuickTime VR object movie. Unfortunately QTVR has been discontinued by Apple long ago.
In case you still have some means to view QTVR movies, here is a link to the movie file (70.3 kB).

© 1998 Dr. Lex